My beloved Green Bay Packers lost their most recent football contest on Sunday, the 7th of October. They faced the 1 win, 2 loss Colts of Indianapolis, Indiana, the northernmost Confederate state*. The Packers did what most fans and regular observers of the sport expected; they jumped out to an early and likely decisive 21-3 lead, which they took into the half.The Colts weren't giving up, however. They decided to run plays that scored points instead of ones that did not score points. An excellent decision on their part. They logged nineteen unanswered of these "points" to take the lead in the football game, 22-21. I subsequently developed a stress-induced, painful pimple under the corner of my mouth.
The Packers scored, eventually, a "touchdown" which gave them another lead, 27-22. After they did this, there was approximately four and a half minutes left to play in the game. My face hurt. In my experience as an educated (don't laugh) and experienced football viewer of the Packers of Green Bay, Wisconsin, a silly, cognitively dissonant region, regaining the lead in 4th quarter with a few or more minutes left rarely ends with the Packers victorious. What tends to happen is that the Packers' defenders forget to run plays that prevent opposing offenses from advancing the ball and scoring points.
This common occurrence, on Sunday, resulted in the Indianapolis
My face feels swollen. Christ. Thankfully, talented but amazingly non-clutch kicker, Mason Crosby got the memo from wives across America and very convincingly missed his 51-yard field goal "attempt". The game ended. The Colts were victorious. The Packers were bestowed their third loss in five games. And my facial pain and emotional distress are making themselves at home. We're going to watch Jeopardy and sort some dirty laundry this evening together.
My face feels a little numb now. Maybe it's an ingrown hair.
*Not really, but they probably wish they were.
